On March 25th, 2013 I died...

Doug: Welcome back to Eye on the Community, a CBS radio public affairs program. I'm Doug Vincent. My guest for this segment is Tig Heaslet — Intergalactic (I love this title) Intergalactic Senior Executive Head of Creature Services for quietlyworking.us. Thank you for joining us today.

TIG: It's my honor, good friend.

Doug: Well, we met — gosh, I don't know how many years ago it's been now. I can't remember exactly how you kind of came onto our radar, but we had you at our Kiwanis Club as a speaker, and it's like, ladies and gentlemen, I gotta tell you, just tighten down your belts because you're in for a ride. This young man is full of energy and it's kind of infectious. I'm going to do something a little different than I normally do, Tig. Normally I have a few prepared questions and we have a conversation and it'll kind of flow a certain way, but I kind of am going into this without a whole lot of prepared notes. I figured we'll just have a conversation and you kind of tell us what you're up to. Now, I remember from your talk when you came to see us at Kiwanis that you were waging a war on hopelessness. Maybe you could tell our listeners a little bit about how that got started, and then we'll kind of work into an update.

TIG: Absolutely. Well, from back in 2000 when we started Children of Fallen Soldiers, that was our first step really into learning what people go through in that process of recovery after a major loss. We started serving all the kids who had lost a parent in the U.S. military, and so that's a very unique and challenging process. We started out as a non-profit just doing the normal things — helping people on birthdays and doing events. What we very quickly learned from the military widows is that's not really what they need. It's great. It has a short-term impact, but what they were looking for, or dreaming for even, was something of long-term effectiveness — something more like a mentorship program. So that got my brain taken into the dynamics of dream development, and so that's what we ended up doing. We developed a dream development program. Right there inherent in dreams is hope. You have to have hope if you've got dreams.

Doug: Well, you are right on the money, sir.

TIG: The first step in dream development is having hope for a better future, and you have to have hope for a better future before you can move on to step two — which is target acquisition, figuring out what is your purpose on this planet and what is your dream. And once you define that, then you can move to building a dream. Once you've built it, you can live it, and once you're living it, you can start creating a legacy that lives beyond you. But it all starts with having hope for a better future.

Doug: I've often said that hope is the foundation for everything else. You lose hope, you lost everything. You've probably learned a lot of things along the way, especially being around these kids who have gone through this — and even, I don't know if you work with kids that, even if they haven't lost a parent, in some ways they've lost their parent because they're away for such extended amounts of time. We're learning now that the kids are going through a form of their own PTSD.

TIG: Absolutely, and you're so right. One thing I learned was that I was sorely ill-prepared for the job — that all my chaplain training, I just was in for quite a ride, which was actually such a blessing because, you know, our glorious Lord and Savior, He loves to put us in situations where we're forced to be on our knees rather than thinking that we're the one with the oars in our hands. And so that's really what has happened, and He's done just amazing things. What we've been able to do — through some just amazing acts of God, one being me dying last year — we've been able to expand our services to outbound to not only just the kids who've lost a parent in the U.S. military but also fallen firefighters, fallen peace officers, and then all youth beyond that — anybody 27 and younger who really needs to figure out why they're here on this planet.

Doug: So what have you learned along the way in going from those short-term accomplishments to now going through and getting some long-term goals established and some dreams started and all of that for the kids?

TIG: Well, I'll tell you what — I've learned that all of us… well, there's just so many more kids than I had ever imagined that are battling hopelessness. They may have not lost a parent in a battle or in any type of way that we think of, but with single-family homes and with the lack of responsibility of certain parents, they're dealing with the same loss, and the effects are exactly the same. They're dealing with hopelessness. They don't feel like anybody's behind them, supporting them, and they don't feel that unconditional love that a father is supposed to teach and train and really brand into the minds of our young people so that they can go forward and really be the warriors they're supposed to be.

Doug: Yeah, sometimes those of us who had that kind of take it for granted, I think, and may not fully understand what not having that means.

TIG: God truly takes those things in our lives that are just horrible and tragic, and if we allow it, He will turn them into beautiful, beautiful things — like mounds of manure where a glorious garden can grow out of.

TIG: I grew up in an abusive home and there was a lot of terrible things that happened, and if I did not have that, I wouldn't be able to relate in the way I am able to relate to youth that have experienced that. I've experienced homelessness as a child. So there's certain things that could turn you bitter, but if you let God turn them into something beautiful, then it can really help other people. And that's what our kids are learning — that these things that they're going through will only make them stronger, and that they're in control and they're very, very powerful and able to change the world in a positive way by bending the knee to Jesus Christ.

Doug: Now, Tig, maybe you can answer this in a couple of different ways: how did you see that? How did you get that? Because — and I'm sure in your work you see it all the time — there are plenty of people that experience these things and still continue to think of themselves as a victim. One of your big achievements is that you saw that and saw the good of it and made that transition, didn't let that define you, and now you're going on doing good work. How do you help the kids see in this tragedy that, as tragic as it is, there's some good that can come out of it?

TIG: Yeah, I think that that's one of the most challenging pivots that a mind has to make. I forget what book I read it in, but it impacted me. It deals with taking 100% responsibility for your life. I think it's much easier to just see yourself on a river that you're out of control on, and it's kind of just taking you where it's going to take you. But I think it's much more realistic and true that we do have oars in our hands and we do have a great deal of power and effectiveness that God has given us, and incredible minds. And when we take that step of courage into I take 100% responsibility for everything in my life and my choices and what I do and my ability to dream and create things — that creates a spark. And then when you couple that with wrapping your arms around youth, loving them like they've never been loved before, and then coming alongside them and letting them know that they're not alone in this process — that is… you know, we can't replace a dad, but that's what a dad would do. And so you give them that strength that they're not alone, and you give them that mental brand of what the love of our father does for us. And it really helps them bridge that gap to take risks in their life that normally would just be too difficult.

Doug: Now, I know you're enlisting people to help you in this endeavor. So you have partners, you have — you mentioned having chapters throughout the United States, around the world?

TIG: That is the goal. Yes, sir. We just started — again, much of this was a catalyst from me dying last year and realizing that I need to step up the pace here. And —

Doug: Hang on one second, Tig. Hang on one second. I'm not laughing at your experience and your plight there, but I have to let everybody know — this goes back five or six years that you came and talked to our Kiwanis. And like I say, you were one of the most energetic guys I've ever met. So you have to kind of maybe walk us through that experience of dying and then coming out more energetic afterwards. I can't hardly imagine.

TIG: Oh, that's hilarious. You're so beautiful, man. I tell you, I've got a pacemaker — and it was from a birth defect that made my heart rate very slow. So I had that put in when I was around 27 years old.

Doug: So we're kind of pacemaker brothers, huh?

TIG: We are pacemaker brothers. And it was right during the process — somewhere around 2012 — that it started malfunctioning. At the time — this is just a whole miracle in itself — we did not have health insurance, because things were tight. My heart doctor and Medtronic, the company who manufactures the pacemaker — everybody ended up coming together and donating everything required to do this incredible procedure, you know, very expensive procedure. So they planned to replace the leads, which were cracking, that go down into the heart. And I gotta tell you — I get the best doctor in the country. She's done hundreds — over 500 of these — never a problem. But I tend to be kind of a lightning rod for if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me. And as they were going through, they have this laser that goes down and extracts the lead. Well, it just so happened that when it was initially installed in the heart, it was put on a very, very thin area, undetectable to any type of scan. And so when the laser hit it, it basically just burnt a hole through the heart.

TIG: Again, I was blessed to have an amazing combat Marine as my thoracic surgeon on standby, and he saw this happen on the monitor and he scrubbed in and he sawed my chest open and put his hand in there, cut his way to the heart and put his finger in and plugged up that hole. By that time, all the blood in my body was gone. So they started filling me up — and they filled me up 13 units of blood. And as soon as the hydraulic pressure got enough to where he could bring me back, he brought me back. So it was just a little under seven minutes that I was gone. I've been interviewed by quite a few doctors with the process, and yeah — just absolute miracle — that gave me this unshakable confidence that I'm here for however long God has me here, but I need to practice what I preach and turn this dream that I am living into a legacy that lives well beyond me. And so that is the purpose of establishing local chapters throughout the world so that we can quietly work to impact youth. I don't think it's something that will be achieved in my lifetime, but within the next three generations, I believe that we will make a world-changing, a globe-changing effect by impacting our youth and helping them to have hope for a better future, find their purpose, and live their dream.

Doug: Well, it sounds like a great dream. And can I maybe summarize this a little bit, with your permission? Here's a guy that is out fighting hopelessness, and you talk about a pivot point — here you are teaching this and trying to help children. You have this moment in your life. You're put to the test to not only talk the talk but walk the walk. You've got this event that happens, and now you've come out of this — talk a little bit about how, when you came out of this, now you have to go through that process yourself. You have to not let this event define you, and you're going to go on and you're going to be positive. You're not going to all of a sudden say… I mean, I guess depression could happen after this. Tell us about your experience.

TIG: Yes, that's great. It's so funny — I was at a good friend's graduation party, and his dad was telling the table the story of me dying. And one of the side effects of what I'm dealing with is short-term memory issues, and it's slowly coming back, but it's just like working out a muscle. Nevertheless, he was telling this story that I had forgotten about. My anesthesiologist was this just incredible man — a great sense of humor — and he was Jewish, and he was telling me — he said, Chaplain, you've got nothing to worry about. It's Passover. Death is just going to pass right over you. It's just going to be wonderful. I'll see you in just a little bit. And the next thing that I saw when I woke up was him in tears by my bedside, and he said, I've never seen anything like this. You should not be alive. This is truly a miracle.

TIG: I didn't have any light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel experiences other than an unshakable peace that I just can't even explain. I've tried my best writing it down, and it doesn't do any justice. It just was this peace that I cannot explain.

TIG: God just was planting those seeds in me — that practice what you preach seeds. And I did suffer from quite a severe depression as the weights of everyday life started to come back, and I realized that I was kind of angry with God. I didn't want to be in the fight again. And He lovingly guided me through getting back in the fight. But that was a process — over about three months — and really, you know, good friends and a lot of prayer, and a fantastic wife and great kids — they're the reason why I'm in the fight again. And realizing that this next journey in my life is going to be absolutely spectacular, because God's got some showing off to do.

Doug: Well, you sound like you're back up to speed physically and mentally. Did you have to kind of pace yourself for a while as you kind of got back into it?

TIG: Yeah. It was shocking to me how quickly our body recovers from something like that. I had maybe two weeks that I was pretty much down in a chair, and then I was up walking around, and pretty much business as usual. Just — there are a lot of, because it's a significant chemical change in your body, anything traumatic like that. So, you know, anybody who's going through it — word to the wise — give yourself a break. Your spouse, give them a break. There's a lot of chemical changes, and so there's a lot of ups and downs. But yeah, I feel after a year that I am back in there. And of course my doctor never wants me to do any massive pushup sessions or anything where my hands are lifting anything really heavy up in the air. But other than that, I am back and back in the game, my friend.

Doug: Very nice. Yeah, when I got all the information about my pacemaker, it says on there that I can't play softball, I think it was, and rugby was the other. So I guess my rugby career's over. All right, well, so where are you going now? What's ahead, and how can our listeners get involved and help out or take advantage of some of the things you're offering? Maybe we're talking to somebody who has a child that needs your help right now.

TIG: Absolutely. Right now we're on a national tour. We've just started the first leg of a 2014–2015 national tour, where we are collecting messages of encouragement from Americans to the kids who've lost a hero parent. So we're in Austin, Texas right now. We're collecting EOAs — and EOA stands for expression of appreciation. That's actually why I was at Kiwanis, way back when when we met. We're collecting those messages of encouragement, and we're filming some athletes and celebrities out here at X Games in Austin. And then next week we're headed up to Dallas. We're planting Quietly Working chapters here in Austin and in Dallas. And then back home for a little bit, until the East coast trip in August.

Doug: Sounds good. Sounds good. Well, Tig, thank you. I know you're very, very busy here in Austin getting ready to do a bunch of stuff, and I appreciate you taking some moments here to chat with us, get caught up. It's great to talk to you again. Hopefully we can have you back at Kiwanis and get another update. And thank you for sharing all the information. Thank God that you're still with us. And like I say, thanks for joining us here on Eye on the Community.

TIG: To everybody who's listening, I just encourage you that whatever place you're at in your life — live on bended knee and take 100% responsibility for your life and have the courage to dare to dream. And God will do absolutely magnificent things showing off His glory in your life.